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Ladies, gentlemen, Dwayne (I’m always hoping he’s listening to/looking at me), it's that time of the year ! Here's my prediction : 35,72 articles written in two days, to show Mrs C your involvement.
Guess what ? I'm going to follow the trend.

Still in seconde ? Full of hope ? Jane Austen fan ? This article is for your future you who, clearly, doesn’t have anything to say anymore.

SO, hmm, I must write an article ; am I going to be serious ? musical ? literary ? funny ? I don't know. And you probably don't know too ! Therefore I am going to teach you how to write the best article on Charlie's OIB.

            First, you might need an idea (you don't have to, if your name is Lino Bruel). Someone you love, something you fight for, anything that is both boring and politically correct. Let’s pick one randomly : Coldplay. I won’t talk about this band, only about writing an article on the blog and mentioning Coldplay to give examples. 

random picture of the band

            Secondly, the intro (yes, I know, this is quite oxymoronic, but we’re the OIB, so you should use literary features). You need to “praise your topic”. For example, “OMG the singer is so beautiful, he sings so well ! I also love the bassist that uses the incredible picking techniques !”. You also define your topic, which genre of music/novel/movie, how many members, maybe their name, or better, some stat about how many albums they sold in their carrier.

            Then, the serious part. Here, you really need to talk seriously about your topic. You analyse guitar riffs, drums patterns, or why kangaroos have that seventh leg in their pocket. You drop some links, pretend you’re an expert (even if you’re only the 64820165^th fan of seven leg kangaroos in the world). This is probably going to be the shortest part, because having a good grade>being interesting.

            However, you’ve come to a point where inspiration is no more. The time of padding hath now come ! Thou art, sorry, you are hesitating between finishing this article or giving up. But thou say to thyself, no, I need a good involvement grade ! The only option left is rankings. Just list some cool facts about your topic. Did you know that they recorded their debut album Parachutes in FOUR different studios ? I didn’t, until 12/05/2019, 22:26 ! Or you can rank your favourite albums (I’ll just put them in chronological order) and explain briefly – yes, really briefly, remember that you’re not inspired anymore :

1.      Parachutes

2.      A Rush of Blood to the Head

3.      X&Y

4.      Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends (I think I can hear Joe Satriani cough next to me)

5.      Mylo Xyloto

6.      Seven legs ? How is that even possible ? Wow, nature rocks !

7.      Ghost Stories

8.      A Head Full of Dreams

9.      Everyday Life

                                                                 wow, this show's so great

            Finally, finally, it’s conclusion time. Just repeat yourself, gosh man, it’s 01:67, just go to bed ! Okay, let me finish. You can use the common phrase : “they’re so inspiring to me, *padding, padding, padding* that’s why I wanted to introduce them to you” or if you talk about kangaroos : “I think nature is full of surprises and this example restores faith in nature and how it can still dominates humanity :)”

That’s it ! Well played, fellows ! Time to salute your audience with a simple “Goodbye, see you next time, Charlie !”

OVER