Why on earth don’t men ever whisper?

 Sorry about the clickbait. Some men do whisper. Probably. I just haven’t met them yet, have I. 

So hi Charlie, this article is about people who never whisper. I don’t add any swear words because I dont want to be cancelled and all, but do read them between the lines because I get very upset when I hear people act like they’re whispering while they’re really talking aloud. 

Since I struggle to be really focused in class, I’m always learning other stuff, even when I’m really interested in what the teacher is saying. I just can’t sit and listen. 

Here is for instance a picture of my most successful project : 

Well I sometimes chat, too. And I guess everyone has to do something else during lessons, because it’s really difficult to only focus on one thing isn’t it. But the thing is, I WHISPER because some people might want to work, or listen to the lesson. And apparently some people think that there is an alternative to whispering : that is talking in a very low, deep voice. Like that makes it impossible for anybody to hear them. 

Fun fact even if you have a deep voice we can still hear you! If anything we can hear you even louder. 

But the thing is, they never speak loud enough for us to hear what they’re saying, so what the hell is the point. Either shut it or let us hear the gossip, thank you. 

I don’t mind people chatting, since I often chat myself. I really don’t. And it’s always awkward when the class is really silent anyways . But it drives me crazy whenever someone is pretending like they’re whispering, when they’re clearly not. Like it’s not that hard, just whisper.

 But then, in my ever growing kindness, I figured that maybe they just can’t, physically?

SO I CHECKED on Google, and guess what : the results were unexpected. Quite sexy. A bit scary, too.

THEY CAN WHISPER. They simply choose not to. 

So here is a little tutorial to help you be a normal person and learn this very basic skill that anyone above 2 years old should master : 

1) Breathe out. 

2) Speak. 

3) Do both at the same time (you can do this!) 

. 

WAY TO GO, you are now able to whisper.

That is the end of my article. Don’t thank me, I’m only working for the greater good. Of course that wasn’t aimed at all men. Don’t hate me for this thank you

Elaï