Eurovision 2017

Hello everyone !
This year's edition of the Eurovision, that took place in Ukraine, just ended. Like, right now. It ended, I took a quick shower, and there I am typing an article about it.
Because I'm trash. And if you want some trivia, I started watching the Eurovision two years ago, and literaly fell in love. Well, I mean, back then I might have been baited by Conchita Wurst who had quite the amazing beard, but I actually loved the show, for no particular reason. I guess it's just enjoyable.

Anyway, since I know for sure most of you did not watch the show, I am going to make a little summary, or commentary of how it went. Well, I should warn you of these details, because they are going to be the directive lines of this article : first, know that the main reason I watch the Eurovision is to see good-looking men. Because it is the primary asset of the show. You might have found that out from my commentary anyway... And also, I'm basing it on the Tweets I posted as I watched, so mostly screaming and a lot of sass. You might be better off watching the actual show it you want to perfectly understand its depth - but I promise I will help you a little bit if you are too lazy to do that.

Alright, as I started watching the show, I was very worried about who the presenters were going to be. Of course, I am talking about the Ukrainian presenters, since everybody knows our French presenters are always the absolute worst, and I always watch the show directly on the Eurovision official website. This year again, if you really want to know, my mom sent me a text complaining that they were terrible as always. Anyway, I was affraid this year's main presenter would be last year's winner, whom I still resent for winning instead of the Australian singer - not that I have anything against her, but her talent as a commentator could never equal my dear, dear, dear Måns Zelmerlöw's, Swedish winner from two years ago. But I was pleasantly surprised to actually meet three good-looking young men.

Their names are absolutely impossible to remember. Except for the one in the middle, he's Alex.

 Of course, even three of them could never equal one Måns, but it is better than nothing.

So, now, to the actual singing :
The first singer whose voice actually struck me was Poland's. She had a great voice - now, her song was average. I think she was the second one to sing, but anyway, I already wanted her, if not to win, to be high enough in the final ranking. Then it was the Belarusian duo, that struck me because I actually strongly disliked their song and performance, and wanted them to lose.
Eh, I never said I would be nice, did I ?
The next cute guy was the Austrian singer. He was just so cute. I immediatly wanted him to win. Forget Poland. Austria is what this show is about.
Then, they brought a gorilla on stage.

In case you couldn't tell, on the left there is a gorilla, and on the right an Italian singer.

And I have absolutely no complaint.
Moldova brought in an epic sax- (guy) -ophonist, and a beautiful violonist. Azerbaijan, a man with a horse mask. At this point I complained a little bit, because it jumpscared me. I was not paying enough attention to the person sitting on top of a ladder, so of course it is entirely my fault.
But before they brought the horse, Portugal had had its time to shine. Its singer's performance was particularly interesting - beautiful song, really, something very artistic. I thought it was really beautiful and I would have payed the guy to sing me some lullabies, but I also thought he would never win the Eurovision, since it is mostly about pop songs, or anything that makes one want to dance and sing along.
Then they brought in the 17 years old Australian singer. Now there's one guy I can legally fantasize about. Too cute, seriously, too cute. And a nice song and voice, with that.
The Spanish singer had his charm too. His song, though, was not so great - but I did find it very catchy. Not too bad, finally.
After half of the singers had been on stage, the presenters decided to give us a little pause, by showing us a little video they had filmed with a person in particular...

                                                                                       Måns Zelmerlöw, aka my only will to live left

I gasped. And almost chocked. Just wanted you to know that. I even sent my mom a text saying "THERE'S MANS !!!!". Because my mom knows what I'm about.
I didn't really follow the UK's singer's performance because I was still thinking about the video I had just seen and under a lot of adrenaline. But from what I remember, she had a pretty nice voice.
Then the Romanian duo arrived, and of course, when you think of Romania, the first thing you think of is yodeling. Thus, their song was called "Yodel it", and the girl did yodel. Pretty good.
I think she just wanted to use her talent at yodeling in a way or another.

Singers sang, and while they were all good singers, I have to say Belgium had the most remarkable voice. She beat Poland at that.
A random good-looking singer showed up and I hadn't payed attention to his nationality at first, but I was not surprised to find out he was Swedish. That is also why I announced my future husband is going to be a Swedish man.
But I immediatly contradicted myself as the Bulgarian singer showed up. Another 17 years old singer, just too cute for this world, and with an amazing deep voice. Seriously, if he is searching for a girl his age with a nice French accent, he can just comment this article and ask for my address.

And last but not least, we got to hear our French singer ! From her introduction video, I saw she played on a ahamaY piano. Interesting brand. Sure sounds artsy. Anyway, her singing actually was not so bad, even though it was not the best, it was pleasantly surprising. I mean, last year's singer was alright too, but France is infamous for its bad Eurovision singers. I have still not completely healed from the "Moustache" song from two years ago. The music being a bad remix of Papaoutai. I'm sure you can guess how I feel about bad remixes of Stromae songs being used for a song about wanting to have a mustache.

And there, everyone had sung ! We got to wait for a little for the results, and listen to last year's singer again, who sadly hadn't turned Australian in the meantime. And then...
Spain lost with 0 points from each country, and only 5 points from people who had voted via their phones. That's sad.
Aaaand, Bulgaria won, and everyone was very happy, and the en-

DAMMIT.

Portugal won, alright. I was pretty upset at first because I really wanted Bulgaria or Belgium to win, but in the end, I think it is actually a good thing Portugal won. His song was really good, and it is always amazing when things change a little bit from usual. It shows that Eurovision is not just about what music will sound the most like the others, but actually about what song will win our hearts.
You really should listen to his performance, that you can probably already find on Youtube. It's a really pretty song that I thought could belong in a Disney - also, his reaction to winning was absolutely adorable.

Congratulations, Portugal ! I hope you will have good-looking presenters next year. Please invite Måns too. 

Anyway, I hope you liked this article, even though it is pretty long for a summary. If you did, I encourage you to watch Eurovision next year, it really is a nice show to waste your time on ! And who knows, you might discover many amazing and beautiful artists !